An actual "Pepe Abola" does not exist. A common alias for criminals, "Pepe Abola" is often used as a fake form of identification. Records show a trend between criminals using the alias "Pepe Abola" and the crimes these criminals commit. From the list of crimes and misdemeanors, the most flagrant charges are "public intoxication, indecent exposure, urinating on public property, and the ripping of tags from the couch cushions of Meadville, Pennsylvania." These criminals should be avoided at all costs. Sightings should be reported to Officer Thomas Benge, who has arrested an Asiatic male identifying himself as "Pepe Abola" four years ago. It has been his last big break in the "Pepe Abola" conspiracy.

Brian Blose is currently a freshman. He's also a computer science major, mathematics minor, a soldier in the Army National Guard (being deployed for a 6 month tour of Europe due to Bush's war on terrorism), and a compulsive reader/writer.

Julie Chang

The Keira Dodd is found only in Madagascar. She is omnivorous, feeding mostly on insects and fruit. She forages at night and is excellent at leaping and climbing. Keira is characterized by an unusually long, bushy "tail" which more than doubles her body length. Her fur is long, woolly, and dark brown in color. The combination of bushy tail and woolly fur gives Keira a sort of unkempt, shaggy appearance. Little is known about Keira's social behavior; she is usually found in family groups or by herself. She is not sexually dimorphic.

Emily Facci is obsessed with dirt and thunderstorms and the color blue. Slugs make her queasy. She likes pineapple and mushrooms on her pizza. When she grows up she wants to be an alien or a grapefuit picker. She thinks soybeans are cool.

Michael Flaherty ate all of the cookies in the cookie jar, simply to prove that he could.

Salvation Fox: where do you think salvation got his name? rest assured he did not earn it, but indeed it was given to him.

Matt Gonzalez can only say that "somehow, somewhere something bigger may be-everywhere in finitessimalcy." And that "In history, contained are all things, as anything that is, has ceased to be."

Mary Hudock enjoys criticizing the world from her comfy armchair. Philosophy is what makes her get up in the morning. Her love of wisdom is slightly eclipsed by her love of Guinness, but maybe the two aren't incommensurable.

In one of the many specially marked cans of Franco American Spaghettios, a lucky winner will find Audrey Kemp. The winner can either choose to keep Audrey, to eat the rare delicacy that she is, or to redeem her for a prize value of $664.06. No purchase necessary. For a free game send $18.98 shipping and handling to Franco American. Preference is given to males between the age of 21 and 28, with red hair and an IQ range of 115-145. Ayn Rand fans need not apply. It is Audrey's luck to find you anyway.

Robert Kyle '03 is a Communication Arts major with a History minor. Originally from Wheeling, WV, Robert likes to write poetry and anything else that his mind wants to put on paper in his spare time. Robert also writes for Allegheny's newspaper, The Campus, and is an executive board member of Allegheny's radio station, WARC. He also finds time to rock out as the drummer for the band One A Day, and he even gets his homework done sometimes too. After graduation he hopes to travel a lot and ignore the notion of getting a real job.

C. S. L.

Ashley Langenbrunner likes to write. She doesn't usually like what she writes but she writes it anyway. Other people seem to like what she writes and that makes her happy. Ashley also likes to write in the third person, but she doesn't do it very often. Pantelones en fuego... Adios Pantelones!

Jim May plays hockey, writes, and listens to Bob Dylan...that's about it.

David Rodriguez is a Junior here at Allegheny. Just as a side note: Lemmings actually don't jump off of cliffs and commit suicide like most people think. It's a myth. Sometimes groups will accidentally fall off a cliff as a result of overpopulation and being in unfamiliar territory. Another side note: In 1958, a Disney documentary called White Wilderness was made where they had footage of Lemmings jumping off of a cliff to their deaths. How is this possible? They actually had crew members take the Lemmings and throw them off. Go Disney!

Nick Rushin

Indigo Weber