Uncertainty scratches beneath my skin.
Raw with doubt and deprecation,
I seek comfort in those who surround me
but I find the sting of indifference instead.

I order another drink, which I know
I will finish too quickly.
My current purple concoction swirls below me
and whispers sounds of ennui.

Should to shoulder with apathy,
I sit in the corner of a dark, noisy room.
Reverberations and echoes spew
from the tunes the DJ is spinning.

I wish there were less noise and more comfort.
Youth is wasted on me and I spend it purposelessly,
drinking, wishing, and waiting for that golden warmth
to envelop me and soothe the scratching beneath my skin.

If I were thirty pounds lighter, I would not be hiding
in the corner. I would be proudly led to the dance floor
like that girl over there moving comfortably in her skin.
I doubt she buys her own drinks or pays dividends to indifference.