In 30 years our college-bound children will leave our homes seeking their careers and fortunes.

But on the way, they’ll have a few theme parties.

Yes, theme parties. There will be all the old classics, like any variation of “some excuse we came up with to get girls mostly naked” party or the ever-classic decade party.

We’ve stood around the keg dressed like we think people would in the 80s, 70s or 60s. It’s, of course, nothing like everyone really dressed, but an exaggeration of the most ridiculous fashions.

For example: spandex, bell bottoms, blazers with rolled sleeves, side-ponytails and most forms of moustaches.

But our children, looking back in time for an easy decade to mock, could very well look back at us and the turn of the 21st century.

Some girls will come dressed in the obscene combinations of fur and leather that today’s college women put on their feet. The Ugg-inspired boots, the ones that look like they belong on the feet of a squaw in “Nanook of the North” or “Jeremiah Johnson,” will be the prize find at the thrift store.

The girls who can find pink Uggs or other unnatural variations will get even more street cred.

A true student of turn-of-the-century fashion will even tuck her sweatpants into her boots, looking like some interpretation of a low class Eskimo jockey housewife.

Another option is tights under anything. Better yet, some girls may just take on the growing fad of only wearing tights – making it a decade party where girls also don’t wear many clothes. Seriously, who need pants?

The men will come dressed like turn of the century dudes, as well.

There’s always the hair option of the conservative gelled front-flip with short sideburns, though more dedicated party-goers can easily go the route of emo-bangs or the faux-hawk (a sin I’ve committed).

The most likely option, however, will be the over-styled bed head – a hair style paradox between “not giving a shit about what I look like” and “I use a lot of this sweet hair wax I found at Eckerd.”

Popped polo collars will stick out above the lapel of a distressed blazer and jeans with an ironic large belt buckle like a formal John McEnroe down on the farm. There’s always the option for text T-shirts with fake bars or cheesy state-based jokes, plaid shorts and jeans bought with holes.

Don’t forget cheap flip-flop sandals for everyone.

By then, hopefully, we can laugh at our fashion ourselves. Hell, hopefully we can laugh at it now.

Still, in thirty years we should be able to find solace in one thing: our kids will still have to suffer through Beast Light.

That’s one fad that likely won’t die anytime soon.