It was getting to the point where I figured the government was conspiring against me, replacing letters from graduate schools with various credit card offers. When I saw the Senate debating bankruptcy laws that favor credit card companies, I knew I was on to something.
I decided to take matters into my own hand. I traveled to the local post office. The claimed to know nothing about why I was only getting credit card offers. Not satisfied with this, I demanded to know who I should follow up with. They sent me to the local mail hub.
Once at the local mail hub I asked for a tour. On the tour, I saw how large bags of mail were poured out on a giant assembly line. The envelops were picked at by the workers who collected mail to be sent to local post offices.
It seemed like a pretty smooth process. No signs of foul play.
When I was having lunch in the cafeteria, one of the very attractive female workers workers passed me a note with a phone number and a time 7:18.
When it was 7:18 I called the number. It was a wrong number. I never learn.
Okay, so that never happened. But, I did receive an offer from Drew U.
I am still having scheduling conflicts for my tour. It seems one of the promoters will not allow me into the state of Indiana. Also, the rising cost of gaoline may prevent the tour bus from getting out of the state. Unfortunately, I think Sandra Bullock is out promoting this, or maybe Miss Congeniality 2, I get so confused watching TDS. Of course that means that liberal Hollywood will have some "benefit" where they get dressed up in expensive clothes. My only hope is the water car I was promised back in January 2001.
As we continue to wait for spring to burst through and welcome back lawn mowing season, I continue to travel back and forth to my mail box, anxiously waiting to see if I got any new rejection letters. It is a nice car ride to the mailbox. There isn't much traffic to contend with. every other Thursday there is a garbage can and a recycling bin. But usually those are not on the road or driveway.
Graduation is fast approaching (hopefully) so it would be nice to get some mail letting me know I have a future. Otherwise, I may be homeless. If anyone has a red door on their home, I may have to "visit" a few times a week. Talk about a good investment.
Plans are in the works for a promotional tour to push my new book. Stay tuned for more information.
I found out Ann Coulter's fee is $30,000 to be a keynote speaker. I need a new agent so I can get paid too.
Birth of a Nation is out in Paperback. It would make a nice gift.
Until next time...
I will not be going to the Grand Old Opery any time soon. Not a huge deal. (It was a free application and I didn't invest time networking, visiting with the people). The most disappointing fact is I'll never bump into MJ from the Real World.
Still no word from the other three. It could be a good sign (I at least made it to the short stack which hopefully leads to the shorter stack?), or it could be that they are coming up with new ways of writing rejection letters which could be sold by Hallmark. For example:
"Roses are Red Violets are Blue. Somebody got accepted, but it wasn't you."
or
"We always enjoy telling people they have been accepted. But we really enjoy shattering someones hopes and dreams. Thank you for making this the best day of our lives."