Taking that first step out of Gatwick International Airport, I was amazed at how much England resembled the United States. People were briskly walking along the sidewalks, traffic was lurching along on the roads, and street vendors lined up to offer delicious snacks and reading materials. It was almost as if I had flown 8 hours only to arrive in an exact duplicate of America. As time went on, however, I began to recognize the obvious cultural differences, such as the currency and food. Despite the fact that the people had remarkable accents and drove on the wrong side of the road, everything had a feeling of familiarity about it.
What I failed to see in those first few weeks, however, were the subtle differences in behavior and manner that existed between me and the Brits. Numerous attempts to be polite and orderly, either in offering myapologies to someone I knocked into on the sidewalk or queuing up to place an order at the bar, were greeted with disdain and shock. The cold, indifferent responses of the people I encountered made me feel unwelcome and alone. I could not understand why everyone was so taken aback by my offers of common courtesy. For a while, I believed it to be a response to my being an American.
As term progressed, I began asking my flat mates and friends why these things were happening. I just could not understand it. The townspeople seemed friendly enough and were glad to help out. Some were even eager to hear more about life in America and spoke to me as if they had known me for years, providing details about their families, careers, and life experiences. Finally, I realized that the majority of the cold and indifferent behavior I had experienced had occurred on campus. The students at the University were truly the people making me feel awkward and isolated.
The fact of the matter is, the exchanges between random students are much more formal here. Strangers simply do not converse with one another, even to say Bless you or Excuse me. Of course, people become familiarized in the setting of the classroom and living arrangements. It is a seemingly different story for the international students on campus though. The English students are friendly, but too preoccupied in their own lives to make many efforts towards knowing you. The task of blending into the tightly woven community of English students is difficult, particularly because no one encourages you to make the effort.
Such experiences have taught me to love the connection and familiarity that I experience in the states. I used to cringe when a stranger would attempt to make small talk with me in the doctors office or on the train. Now I yearn for contact with others, even strangers. The ability to talk comfortably to the person beside you or to compliment an individual is vital to our sense of self. That brief bond between people feeds our need or recognition and gives us an indication that we do in fact exist. Living in a new environment, without any close contacts, I have come to appreciate even the slightest bit of recognition from a stranger, in hopes that they might help me establish my identity here in the United Kingdom.
